So I was glad to hear that mega-nast Warren Jeffs got nabbed by the cops. I swung over to the FBI's Top Ten Fugitives webpage to see if they had given Jeffs' spot on the list to some new wanker. Sadly, he's still on there—he's just labeled as "Captured." Looking at the rest of the list, I noticed something very odd.

While the fugitives aren't explicitly numbered, the fact that these are the "10 Most Wanted Fugitives" indicates that the FBI does order their fugutives by some measure of how "Wanted" they are. The implied numbering on the webpage shows some guy called Jorge Alberto Lopez-Orozco at number one. He must be one bad dude. But wait, who's this at #2? It's our old pal, Usama Bin Laden.

I find Bin Laden's inclusion on the list a bit hokey; for one thing we all know his name, what he looks like, and what he did. Unfortunately, putting his picture on the internet isn't going to improve the chances of finding him. The other guys on the list are people that might well be living among us. Having their picture up on the wall might actually lead to an arrest, as was the case for Mr. Jeffs— the cop that pulled him over recognized him from the list.

But nevermind that he's on there... if we decide that he should be on the list, how is he not #1? What exactly did Lopez-Orozco do to achieve more Wantedness than Bin Laden? His dossier suggests that he murdered three people and then unlawfully flew to avoid prosecution. Implied violation of the laws of physics aside, somehow his crimes against humanity seem to pale in comparison.

Obviously, these people must not be ordered in terms of their Wantedness. But they aren't arranged alphabetically... so what's the deal? I'm going to check back until they remove Jeffs from the list and upgrade whoever is currently #11 and we'll see where they put them. I'll keep you posted on this amazingly profound information.

For reference, here is the current list (Want-O-Meter numbering implied) as of 2006.08.30:

1. Jorge Alberto Lopez-Orozco
   
2. Usama Bin Laden
   
3. Diego Leon Montoya Sanchez
   
4. James J. Bulger
   
5. Warren Steed Jeffs -- CAPTURED
   
6. Robert William Fisher
   
7. Victor Manuel Gerena
   
8. Glen Stewart Godwin
   
9. Richard Steve Goldberg
   
10. Donald Eugene Webb
    

The Fine Print: If you read the FBI's Most Wanted FAQ, they explicitly state that the members of the list are not ranked. But I still don't understand how the ordering is chosen...

I checked back on the FBI's site for the first time in awhile today, and discovered that Jeffs' spot had been filled with Ralph B. Philips. The order of everyone else hadn't changed, so I guess your spot on the list is sort of "dead man's boots." Also of interest... Mr. Philips has already been captured. So maybe spot #5 is sorta the least desireable spot on the list, from the fugitive's point of view.