Got notice in the mail today that I would be contacted soon to set up an appointment to take a polygraph which is designed to convince the DOE, and I'm not making this up, that I'm not a terrorist.
So... are you a terrorist?
No.
Are you sure?
Yes.
This line is pretty... wiggly. The machine is clearly indicating that you are nervous about this question. Now why would that be?
OK, you got me; I admit it.
The notice came with a 18-page 3-column fine print description of the DOE's polygraph policy. Presumably, it is designed to lull the reader into a lobotomy-like state which makes them more likely to succum to intimidation (e.g. the polygraph examination).
Everyone at work makes fun of the polygraph policy, it's practicioners, and generally finds the whole process insulting. Still, everyone basically lives in fear of polygraph. The reason being that the results are not scientific or reproducible and yet can have a tangible outcome on... your employment. And that is kinda creepy.
So let's hope I can keep my sarcastic mouth shut and the plotter wiggles in my favor. Ugh.
Actually, you've been polygraphed 19 times already.
You've just made it more difficult for them, because the Men in Black are going to have to use their DeMemorizers on everyone who read this post, too.
Speaking for all 4.7 of your readers, thanks a lot. Lucky for you we won't remember that you...
what?
I saw one of your older entries about sugar gliders. I'm in El Paso. Two of my babies died leaving my male all alone. Do you know where I can find another glider? I tried to put my website, but you don't accept them. lol