Peter and Steve and I went down into Pueblo Canyon yesterday after work and made a first stab at making the orienteering map. It went well and I think both of them will be up for helping make the map(s) from now on. It has become apparent that it will take a long long time to do.

I suppose I should say a few things about the Columbia tragedy given my plans to apply to the astronaut corps when I get my degree. It wasn't clear from the NASA TV stream what was happening at the time. The first real indication that they were aware that something was terribly wrong was when the FDO asked the TNC to lock the control room doors and advised no one to make or receive any phone calls. At that point I had a pretty good idea of what was soon to be revieled by amateur videos shot over texas.

Regardless of whatever the findings of the accident investigation board are, it seems clear that Columbia suffered either a thermal or structural breakdown in the left wing and as a result lost attitude and succumed to the enormous aerodynamic and thermal loading at Mach 18. Other than a few minor sensor dropout warnings, it seems unlikely to me that the crew had any warning of their impending doom. Once the GCS could no longer correct for the forces on the shuttle, catastrophic failure would have followed so quickly that those aboard probably didn't notice.

To be sure, it was a human tragedy. While the loss of life was not particularly overwhelming in magnitude, it was very much in the public eye. These were representatives of their respective countries in a noble endeavour for a great cause. As highly trained, highly educated scientists working towards the advancement of the collective knowledge of the human race in a way that few were capable of, they were exceedingly valuable, though perhaps indirectly, to us all.

When I was in fourth grade, teaching my fellow students how to code in LOGO, we took a break to watch the Challenger launch on mission STS-51L. When it exploded 72 seconds after liftoff, I was still too young and innocent to understand the implications of the disaster. As far as I was concerned, the explosion "looked cool."

Nevertheless, that moment went into my memory as one of three times that I witnessed a very tragic and public loss of human life. The next time this happened was a year and a half ago when I turned on my TV while I ate breakfast before going to my plasma physics class, just in time to witness the second plane fly into the world trade center live.

The destruction of Columbia was the first of these events to really hit me close to home. I'm not so susprised that something like this might happen; I understand the myriad risks that face astronauts. What really struck me was a sudden realization that I was prepared to give my life for something, and that this wasn't necessarily an impossible outcome for me.

I spent a lot of time contemplating what it meant to be an astronaut and what they represent. And the conclusions I came to included that I really believe in what they're striving for - even to the point that I would sacrifice myself to further those goals.

And that's a difficult thing to admit to yourself. And a startling realization for me.