Things I've heard recently:

"Then there are the girls: there are almost always females along, but... none of them are into it... Which is really too bad, because it certainly seems like UE get togethers, just like atheist gatherings, are inclined toward being sausage parties."

"I went into the bathroom, and there's a chalkboard above the urinal. And there's like some kind of quadratic equation on it. Only at MIT."

These two things aren't related, and there's no point. I just thought they were funny.