for whatever reason, i'm feeling depressed today. i'm all down on myself for not having focus and not knowing if i am good enough to make it passed my qualifying exams, etc.

talked with rolf for awhile about it. sometimes i wish that i didn't have the obligation to MIT and could move from place to place doing as i please. rolf's got a pretty smooth situation right now. when he's done with cambridge, he's gonna move to bozeman montana because it's pretty. that's the coolest thing i've ever heard.

i've got this backburner desire to get a motorcycle and drive around the country on it. i don't know why. maybe i want to be like robert pirsig, i don't know.

it's weird, i think i'm probably the personleast-likely to ever be seen on a bike, but on the other hand it really appeals to me for some reason. maybe a convertable with suffice.

but anyway, i'd have to be obligation-free for that, and i'd have to have a lot of money.

i can't do anything like that right now because i don't have any money and i can't leave MIT while i have the chance to get a degree here. i think as far as being in "the system" goes, i'm doing pretty damn good. and there's no way i'll ever throw that away. but i'd still like to live "free" for awhile sometime.

the pi party was somewhat of a letdown. there wasn't really anything pi-related going on. i was chatting with rolf last night at 2:00am and he said something about it being 3/14 1:59 and that we should have the pi party now. but i misunderstood him and thought he was telling me that the pi party was today at 1:59pm. so i walked my dumb ass over to harvard at 1:45 and found arsdigita in the middle of a busy work day. duh.

so i walked to the T station and went back home, feeling stupid.

i went back to the party around 6:00pm. there was really fancy food, and a concert on the $50,000 piano by one of the guests. everyone there was over 30, and noone was talking about pi.

i ended up upstairs helping rolf code perl for his client.

apparently, after i left, the hostess (eve) got really drunk and started reading off the digits of pi, but i saw nothing of the sort.